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Lions Fans vs. The Three-Headed Beast: An Analysis of the Black Hole that is the Lions Front Office

By: The Fantasy Football Clinic

As many know, it’s tough to be a Lions fan. If you’re not a fan, but want to partake in the misery, come along as we take you on a ride down the Honolulu Blue wormhole. 

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It all starts at the top, and the tip of this iceberg is Martha Ford. While she doesn’t actually make decisions when it comes to gameday, she is one of the 3 heads because she empowers this front office and has refused to make changes. Like many of our brethren before us have said, “SELL THE TEAM”.

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The next head of the monster is Bob Quinn. Bob Quinn has overstayed his welcome and has proven time and again that he is incapable of running this organization in any direction other than into the ground. His method of installing the “Patriot Way” in Detroit has flopped like a fish out of water. 

Bad Draft Picks by Bob Quinn:


Taylor Decker is taken with the 16th pick, directly in front of 2 Pro Bowlers in Safety Keanu Neal and Center Ryan Kelly.

A’Shawn Robinson is taken directly after Pro Bowler Derrick Henry and taken directly before Pro Bowler and best wide receiver in the league Michael Thomas.


Jarrad Davis is taken with the 21st pick before Pro Bowlers Cornerback Tre’Davious White and Linebacker T.J. Watt.

Teez Tabor is taken with the 53rd pick. He is no longer with the team and Juju Smith Schuster and Alvin Kamara were drafted with in the next 14 picks.


Safety Tracy Walker is taken with the 82nd pick directly before Pro Bowl Offensive Tackle Orlando Brown and 3 picks before Pro Bowl Tight End Mark Andrews.


Tight End T.J. Hockenson is taken with the 8th pick directly before D-tackle Ed Oliver and Linebacker Devin Bush. Although they aren’t Pro Bowlers yet, both of these guys look like defensive studs for years to come.

Linebacker Jahlani Tavai is taken with the 43rd pick before other players taken in the 2nd round such as Greedy Williams, A.J. Brown, Miles Sanders, Mecole Hardman, and DK Metcalf.

Bad Trades by Bob Quinn:


Traded Linebacker Kyle Van Noy (2014 2nd round pick of the Lions) and a 2017 7th round pick to the New England Patriots for their 2017 6th round pick. Van Noy has become a Pro Bowler and a leader for the Patriots league leading defense. The Lions used the 6th round pick to take Miami QB Brad Kaaya, who is no longer on the roster. 

Traded a 2018 6th round pick for Offensive Tackle Greg Robinson (former 2nd overall pick) who was abysmal and did next to nothing on the team.  

Traded Offensive Guard Laken Tomlinson (2015 1st round pick of the Lions) to the San Francisco 49ers for a 2019 5th round pick. Tomlinson has become one of the best run-blocking Guards in football, as he has helped pave the way for the 49ers dominant run game. The 2019 5th round pick ended up being dealt to the Giants for Damon “Snacks” Harrison who was ineffective this past season, but great in previous years.


Traded the Lions 2018 2nd and 4th round picks to move up in the 2nd round and select RB Kerryon Johnson. While Johnson has been above average at times, he has rarely been healthy for the Lions. The Lions would have gotten a chance to draft 2 similar contributors with the picks they gave up.

Traded the Lions 2019 3rd round pick to the Patriots for their 2018 4th round pick to draft D-Lineman Da’Shawn Hand. Hand has been an average contributor on the interior, but the 2019 3rd round pick sent to the Patriots ended up becoming Edge Rusher Chase Winovich, a Michigan Man who could have greatly helped the Lions generate a pass rush, something they were well below average at this season. 

Traded Interior D-Lineman Akeem Spence to the Dolphins for a 2019 conditional 7th round pick. The Lions spent the 2018 season getting gouged up the middle of the field due to lack of interior D-Line depth. 

Traded the Lions 2020 7th round pick for 49ers Linebacker Eli Harold, who did put up 4 sacks in 2018 for the 6-win Lions, but Bob Quinn chose not to re-sign him–making the trade pointless. 

Traded WR Golden Tate for a 2019 3rd round pick from the Eagles. While the draft capital was good, after trading Tate, the Lions sorely missed a slot WR presence and were unable to consistently move the ball after shipping Tate out.


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Traded Quandre Diggs for Seattle’s 2020 5th round pick. Not only did this move upset the locker room, but Diggs spent the rest of the season with Seattle and became a Pro Bowler. Bob Quinn has lost nearly all fan support at this point. 

Agrees to trade former 4th round pick Michael Roberts to the New England Patriots for a conditional 2020 7th round pick, but then decided to cancel the deal and waive him for nothing.

Bad Personnel Moves by Bob Quinn:


Solid off-season with the signings of wide receivers Marvin Jones and Anquan Boldin. 

2017 (when it all starts to fall apart) 

OT Rick Wagner – 5 years, $47.5 Million, $17.5 million guaranteed. 

Rick Wagner has been injured for the majority of his time in Detroit and ineffective when healthy. Bust signing. 

Lets Larry Warford (former 1st round pick) walk, who becomes a key contributor on the New Orleans Saints O-Line. 

Lets Riley Reiff (Former 1st round pick) walk to the divisional rival Minnesota Vikings, becomes the anchor left tackle for one of the best O-Lines in football. 

Signed TJ Lang to a 3 year, $28.5 million deal, who barely plays due to injury. 

Cut a veteran leader in Linebacker Deandre Levy. 


SIgns Legarrete Blount, who has one of the most inefficient seasons in recent memory.

Releases former 1st round pick Eric Ebron, who goes on to have a career-best, Pro Bowl season with the Colts. 


Cuts key contributor Glover Quin, who had voiced criticisms of Quinn and Patricia. 

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Signs Trey Flowers to a massive five-year, $90 million contract that includes $56M in guarantees.

Signs Justin Coleman to a massive four-year, $36 million contract, only for him to be one of the worst slot corners in the league.

Signs backup TE Jesse James to a four-year, $25 milion contract, only for him not to contribute at all.

Cuts key contributor Nevin Lawson (who was cheap). 

Signs RB CJ Anderson. 

Signs Mike Daniels for $10 million, he accumulates 1 sack and 6 solo tackles in 9 games.

Cuts Theo Riddick

Cuts 2nd round pick Teez Tabor. 

While he has made countless poor moves, his worst decision is still yet to come.

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The final head of the beast is Matt Patricia a.k.a Matty P a.k.a Bob Quinn’s BFF. The man who cares more about the posture of journalists than winning NFL games, seriously. He was billed as a defensive guru and told Lions fans that he would be the one to get them over the 9-7 hump. He has done no such thing and has taken a 9 win team to subsequent 6 and 3 win seasons. As for the “defensive guru” title, the Lions have finished 23rd (2018) and 31st (2019) in defensive yards per game. As far as his “bend don’t break” strategy goes, the Lions have ranked 16th (2018) and 26th (2019) in points per game given up. Patricia fired his old time mentor in Defensive Coordinator Paul Pasqualoni. A scapegoat in every sense of the word, it is well-known that Matt Patricia was calling the defense and this is no more than a last ditch peace offering to fans. Put this, along with horrid game management (we won’t bore you with the endless examples), and you get 9 wins in the last 2 years. This number is especially ironic because Bob Quinn stood on stage at the press conference after firing Jim Caldwell and said “9 wins isn’t good enough”. He decided to hire his Patriots buddy Matty P who has proceeded to also win 9 games, but in 2 years rather than 1.

This 3 headed beast should’ve been slain this off-season, but alas Martha Ford has allowed the other heads to poison yet another draft. Being given an ultimatum to win games now or be fired forces Quinntricia to not have the health of the franchise in mind as they draft and make off-season moves. The Detroit Lions franchise can not move forward until this monster is defeated.

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Lions Fans vs. The Three-Headed Beast: An Analysis of the Black Hole that is the Lions Front Office

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